


A Series of Unfortunate Events

by storias



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Amnesia, Anti-Hero!Reader, Blood and Gore, Canonical Character Death, Dark Comedy, F/M, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-24 13:27:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6155150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storias/pseuds/storias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, a second chance is all a person needs to prove themselves. The only problem is that not everyone is prepared to give that chance.</p><p>Kenny McCormick/Mysterion x Female!Reader</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Series of Unfortunate Events

 

It would be a lie if Kenny said that he was never in this sort of situation, and frankly, he's been in it in more times than he can count. Even then, he has to admit that it isn't every day that he's tied up by a chick, only, he had no idea who this chick was exactly.  
  
She conserved her identity behind a mask, like he did, and called herself [Secret ID]. It was an uncanny name and didn't sound especially malicious at all. But here she was nonetheless, holding him against his will. If this were any other circumstance, Kenny would have been thrilled, and not just on the inside. Unfortunately for him, that was not the case.  
  
"Why don't we start from the beginning?" That would be rather nice since Kenny had utterly no idea what was going on right about now. Sure, his methods have gained him a few enemies here and there, but _usually_ , they would get acquainted first before throwing punches. This, however, was an entirely different ballgame. In fact, this was Kenny's first encounter with [Secret ID], so he had no clue as to what her deal was, "You, Mysterion, have been a thorn in someone's side for a while now, but because they wish to remain anonymous, they paid me to get rid of you."  
  
[Secret ID] circled around him, eyeing him as if he were a piece of meat. Kenny kept his cool, as per always, but he was starting to get a bit uncomfortable, "That person was not the first to contact me, you know. I've had multiple people come to me, ranting on and on about how they want 'that dickbag Mysterion' eating his own insides." That wouldn't be the first time, but Kenny digresses, "I had no idea who you were, and to be blunt, I didn't care. I thought you were just another psychopath trying to copy Batman due to some sick fascination with him, but then I realized, that wasn't all there was to you. You're your own brand of hero, aren't you?"   
  
She looked at him in expectancy, and he kept quiet. Her lips pulled downwards and she narrowed her eyes; she continued despite her obvious irritation, "Do you want to know _why_ I decided to take this job? It was because my contact told me something _very_ interesting about you, Mysterion." [Secret ID] halted in front of him, her antagonistic gaze beginning to let up, "You're not just the typical comic-book hero, kid. You're special, so very special. And before I do anything else, I need you to tell me how you do it."  
  
"Bite me- _Augh!"_ Cold metal tore through the fabric of his outfit, tearing into the skin of his thigh. He honestly did not expect that, but holy shit! [Secret ID] added some pressure on the knife, causing it to bury itself deeper into Kenny's flesh. After that, she roughly pulled it out, and proceeded to straddle him, "Heh... you're pretty kinky aren't you?"  
  
The woman remained unresponsive, and went on with her speech, "I'm not really fond of wisecracks, Mysterion, and I have to say you're really trying my patience here. So how about you answer the question? Or do you like it rough?" Well, that happened, but Kenny still didn't know what she was talking about. He had a feeling, but that would be a bit impossible, wouldn't it? No one knew about it, so how could [Secret ID]? "Still not talking, hmm? That's fine with me, hon."  
  
Kenny braced himself for another stab but was a bit bewildered when he saw [Secret ID's] hands hovering above his mask. And before he could protest, it was removed, exposing his face to the enemy, "Such a shame, you've such a nice face, Mysterion," her face inched close before capturing his lips with her's, creating a sloppy kiss that left him dazed, in fact, he almost dropped the piece of glass in his hand in the process. He had snagged it before [Secret ID] had tied him up, and he was currently using it to cut through the rope that bound his hands.  
  
The kiss quickly turned deep, and he was a bit surprised by how forceful she was. Before he knew it, she was shoving her tongue down his throat! It was uncomfortable, but those levels skyrocketed when she suddenly bit down on his tongue and pulled. The pain he felt as she pierced through the muscle was excruciating, he couldn't help but scream. The blue eyed male was so distracted that he didn't even feel the only tool for his escape rip through the skin of his hand. Even so, the injury there was nothing compared to the one above.  
  
[Secret ID] spit his tongue from out of her mouth, ignoring as it landed onto the floor with a bloody plop. With her hand, she wiped the crimson liquid that began to seep from the corner of her mouth and sighed, "Time for a pen and paper then?" With a smirk, she walked over to a desk located in the corner of a room, shuffling through a few things before coming back with what she needed, "Left or right, hon?"  
  
Kenny didn't answer for obvious reasons, so she just moved behind him and untied his hands. If she noticed that the rope was nearly cut through, she didn't make verbal note of it. Both of Kenny's hands were now free, but only for a brief moment. The feeling of freedom immediately went away when he felt her knife once again cut through his skin, only this time, the tip of the blade made it to the other side. Oh fuck, if this hurt this much, he could only _begin_ to imagine what Jesus felt when he had _both_ of his hands nailed to the cross!  
  
[Secret ID] proceeded to shove the pen and paper from her hands into his hands. Kenny begrudgingly began to scribble on the piece of paper, writing as he could. He contemplated on what he should write, and then, like an arrow to the balls, the perfect comeback came to him. Once he was done, he presented it to her with his only hand, a weak smile accompanying his presentation. It read in beautifully shaky handwriting, ' _Kiss my ass!_ '.  
  
"Fuck this, I don't need you," she finally seemed tired of all this, and when she revealed a gun, Kenny had never been so happy to see one in his entire life. He could finally go home! She aimed at his head, and cocked the pistol, "It was nice meeting you, Mysterion. Auf Wiedersehen," and then, she pulled the trigger.


End file.
